Bitcoin Survives Saylor’s Sneezes: Alden Laughs at the FUD

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In the swirling maelstrom of the digital gold rush, Lyn Alden, the quill-wielding sage behind Broken Money and The Stolguard Incident, has taken to the mystical platform of X (formerly known as Twitter, or as the dwarves call it, “The Place Where Opinions Go to Wrestle”). Her mission? To defend the mighty BTC from the recent drama that erupted like a poorly timed firework at a wizard’s convention. The cause of this kerfuffle? Strategy’s decision to part with a mere crumb of its crypto hoard after four long years of hoarding.

Joining her in this valiant defense were other luminaries, such as Samson Mow, who declared with the confidence of a man who’s just found the last pie at a Discworld banquet that corporations like Strategy are free to buy BTC because, as he put it, “it was designed for this.” Quite the endorsement, though one wonders if he’s ever tried explaining that to a golem.

A Fraction of Fuss

The brainchild of Michael Saylor, Strategy (formerly known as a business intelligence giant but now more famously as a bitcoin whale) found itself in the crosshairs of public scorn after selling a mere 32 units of BTC. Yes, you read that right-32. Not 32,000, not 32 million, just 32. Enough to make a dragon sneeze, but hardly enough to topple a mountain. Critics cried foul, but the sale was no act of capitulation; it was a necessary move to support preferred stock distributions, including those elusive cash dividends that keep the company’s stockholders from rioting.

Yet, the cryptocurrency market, ever the drama queen, took a nosedive in the following week, plummeting from its lofty perch above $75,000 to a 19-month low of $59,100. While there were as many factors behind this decline as there are wizards in Unseen University, some pointed accusing fingers at Strategy, claiming its decision had spread FUD faster than a rumor in Ankh-Morpork.

Enter Jim Cramer, who publicly blamed Saylor and Strategy with the fervor of a man who’s just discovered his favorite pie shop has run out of pies. Saylor, ever the quick-witted wordsmith, responded with the grace of a wizard deflecting a fireball, explaining that he never promised Strategy wouldn’t sell if absolutely necessary. However, he remains steadfast in his belief that individuals should hold on to their BTC like a troll holds onto its bridge.

Lyn Alden, ever the voice of reason in a sea of chaos, dismissed the notion that Strategy could single-handedly ‘kill’ bitcoin as absurd. “If all it takes to kill bitcoin is a bullish entity that likes it enough to buy,” she quipped, “then go home.” One can almost hear the sound of a thousand keyboards pausing in mid-tweet.

“If all it takes to kill bitcoin is a bullish entity that likes it enough to buy, then go home,” she asserted, presumably while sipping tea and watching the world burn.

Mow Joins the Fray

Samson Mow, CEO of Jan 3 and a bitcoin proponent with the tenacity of a dwarf guarding his gold, chimed in to agree with Alden. In a comment that could only be described as both succinct and sage, he pointed out that BTC is not a proof-of-stake system. “Corporations can buy. Nation-states can buy. Ownership doesn’t confer control,” he declared, adding that this is precisely what bitcoin was designed for. One can only imagine the look on his face as he typed it-likely a mix of smug satisfaction and the faint glimmer of someone who’s just won an argument with a librarian.

Bitcoin isn’t a proof of stake system. Corporations can buy. Nation-states can buy. Ownership doesn’t confer control. Bitcoin was designed for this.
– Samson Mow (@Excellion) June 11, 2026

And so, the saga continues, with bitcoin proving once again that it’s as resilient as a troll and as unpredictable as a wizard’s spell. Whether it’s Strategy’s sneezes or Cramer’s cries, the cryptocurrency stands firm, leaving us all to wonder: what will the clacks say next?

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2026-06-13 17:22