Bitcoin to $400K? A Sedaris-Style Scoop You Won’t See Coming

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After its little April victory lap, Bitcoin has cozied up in a straitjacket of sameness, hovering between $75,000 and $78,000 like a cat that found a sunbeam and forgot it was supposed to be exciting. The crypto oracle, a.k.a. analyst Kabuki, insists this is a familiar snooze that sometimes ends with fireworks. Translation: take a nap; wake up rich.

Base Formation Signals Familiar Cycle Pattern

In a post on May 2, Kabuki points to a recurring plot twist in market sagas-one that played out in 2021 and again in 2025. In those tales, Bitcoin lounged sideways after the initial momentum, the financial equivalent of a long layover in an airport where you read the same brochure twice and pretend it’s a clue. This phase, often dismissed as indecisive, is simply the base where the “strong hands” accumulate like garage-sale shoppers stocking up on mismatched Tupperware before the next elevator speech to the moon.

Bitcoin stuck at $75K-$78K for a reason

This isn’t random. This is Bitcoin history repeating.

If you know the past, you know the future:

2017: Base formed → Parabolic expansion 2021: Base formed → Parabolic expansion 2026: Same structure playing out NOW

This…

– Kabuki (@kabukistory) May 2, 2026

Historically, in 2018 Bitcoin gathered itself for months before sprinting into a parabolic high, toppling at $69,000 in 2021. A similar dip-and-surge cameo occurred in 2022, with a price squeeze into the $126,100 neighborhood. Now, in 2026, the same stage directions are on stage again.

That current range between $75,000 and $78,000 looks like accumulation: investors gently absorbing supply while pretending not to notice their own hands. What seems like stagnation may actually be a rehearsal for a rally that will haunt your dreams with charts and coffee-stained receipts.

Bitcoin Target: $400,000

Building on this cyclical mood, Kabuki dares to forecast a long-term target of $400,000 for Bitcoin. Yes, it sounds as if someone sprayed a little optimism on a spreadsheet, but the math tracks with how previous surges followed similar base formations.

In 2018, Bitcoin left its accumulation cocoon and produced a jaw-dropping 1,831.46% rise to a peak of $69,000 in 2021. After exiting the buy zone in 2022, acceleration followed in exponential fashion, delivering a 651.63% gain that still makes the all-time high blush. If this current base yields the same multiplier, we’re staring at a $400,000 price by 2029.

The projection enjoys the cheerleaders: a mature market, institutional money via ETF inflows, and a broader adoption fueled by policy like the GENIUS Act and the CLARITY Act. In the here-and-now, Bitcoin trades at about $78,379, up 0.43% in the last week. The market mood has shifted from fear to “meh, maybe,” per the Fear & Greed Index, with analysts from CoinCodex predicting a 5-day stroll toward $84,219.

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2026-05-04 01:11