Cryptonews

If BTC can’t clear this “resistance,” I’d start packing my bags for a $127k-$137k vacation. Or at least a really good therapist.

According to legal documents filed on Sept. 30 (and meticulously reviewed by the ever-vigilant CryptoMoon 🌕), Storm’s defense team argued that the prosecution’s case was about as solid as a wet paper bag. They claim the government’s negligence theory-that Storm knew bad actors were using Tornado Cash and didn’t do enough to stop them-is about as watertight as a sieve. “Negligence theory,” they scoff. “More like *nonsense* theory,” the preliminary statement quips.

In the shadowy realm of social media, Changpeng Zhao-CZ, the modern-day Prometheus of crypto-unleashed a chart from October 2017, a relic of Bitcoin’s meteoric rise from $4,319 to $17,000. A mere whisper of history, he claims, but the timing is as calculated as a drunkard’s stumble toward salvation.

Critics, those poor souls chained to the mundane, howl like Behemoth at a full moon. “Financial gibberish!” cries Jim Chanos, his voice echoing through the halls of Wall Street. Peter Schiff, ever the Cassandra, clucks his tongue and calls it “harebrained.” Yet, Saylor, our modern-day Woland, remains unmoved, his eyes fixed on the horizon where Bitcoin Hyper awaits, a Layer-2 solution promising to turn Bitcoin into a speedster rivaling Solana. 🚀

On the 30th of September, 2025, Midnight, with the air of a debutante introducing her latest gown, announced a “strategic collaboration” with Google Cloud. The aim? To fortify their infrastructure and expand tools for the masses. Zero-knowledge technology, they insist, is “essential infrastructure for next-generation digital systems,” a claim as bold as a widow’s third proposal. The collaboration, however, is no mere flirtation; it is a calculated effort to embed selective disclosure and privacy-preserving computation into a compliance-aware architecture, much like a society matron ensuring her guests’ secrets remain just that-secrets.

DMI à 17, SMI à 33… Des indices qui murmurent aux oreilles des vendeurs! Le prix oscille entre 4 000 et 4 300 $, comme un chat qui refuse de sauter hors d’une bassine! 🐱

At the hour of this scribbling, ETH has swelled by a modest 4% since yestermorn, its daily volume swelling to a corpulent $34 billion. A mere trifle, you say? Nonsense. The markets are aflutter, and the cognoscenti are taking note. 📈

Behold, the Tokyo-listed titan, Metaplanet, has declared its latest purchase, which has elevated its Bitcoin holdings to a staggering 30,823 BTC. A feat so grand that it has propelled the company to the fourth rank among corporate Bitcoin behemoths, surpassing the Bitcoin Standard Treasury Company with the grace of a well-timed punchline. 🥊

But wait-Bitcoin, darling, you’re showing your age. No dApps? No smart contracts? Just sitting there like a stubborn old general refusing to retire. Enter Bitcoin Hyper ($HYPER), the Layer-2 necromancer promising to resurrect Bitcoin’s corpse into something… useful. 🧙‍♂️

This “Difficulty,” you see, is a peculiar creation. A mechanism, woven into the very fabric of Bitcoin by the shadowy hand of Satoshi himself – a god amongst coders, or perhaps merely a terribly clever man. It dictates how arduous it is to unearth these digital nuggets, these blocks of reward. And every fortnight, like a cruel cosmic clock, it adjusts. No benevolent hand guides it, no committee debates its merits, just cold, hard code. A truly terrifying thought, isn’t it? 👻