Legend has it that Q4 in the post-halving year is Bitcoin’s time to shine – an encore that dazzled us in December 2017 after the 2016 halving and again in November 2021, when BTC flirted with $69,000 like it was showing off at a cosmic ball. The last halving? April 2024, naturally, so prepare your wallets and your nerves for Q4 2025’s grand finale.
The project’s pre-launch phase, which began on April 1-a date as ironic as its ambitions-has been a testament to the enduring human capacity for hope in the face of absurdity. The next price increase, a mere $0.00000059, promises to further enrich the coffers of its faithful, though one wonders if such riches will suffice to buy even a digital bone. 🐾
it involves a lot of zeros.
Breeden, bless her heart, believes this digital ménage à trois could unlock faster and cheaper cross-border transactions, not to mention the trading of tokenized securities. One can almost hear the champagne corks popping in the City! 🥂
But wait, there’s more! These tokens aren’t just sitting around collecting dust. They’re securely stashed away with Crypto.com Custody, earning extra dough. It’s like putting your money in a savings account, but way cooler and with a side of crypto sauce. 🚀
Now, if you’re living in the European Economic Area (EEA), prepare yourself for the thrill of staking your Ethereum (ETH) and Solana (SOL). No minimum, no fuss, just good ol’ rewards every single day! Fancy earning up to 6% APR on your Solana? Or, who knows, maybe your Ethereum will surprise you-rewards are as unpredictable as a plot twist in a bad soap opera. 🎭
And now, ominous signals are flashing on the charts like neon signs in a bad neighborhood. If these “death crossovers” play out, Hedera’s year-long uptrend might just shuffle off this mortal coil. 😵💫
Solana (SOL) made a dramatic exit from the $202-$204 chamber, after testing demand so familiar that it should probably invite it to dinner. This after tumbling from the dizzy heights of $211-$213, a place from which SOL was discharged with all the subtlety of a bouncer with a grudge. Crypto analyst Batman, who insists his cape is optional, was seen exclaiming:
If you thought the crypto world couldn’t get more chaotic, meet WLFI-the latest altcoin to turn into a soap opera. It plummeted to $0.1616, then rallied to $0.1898, because nothing says “confidence” like a 59.6% drop from your peak in four days. Meanwhile, the top holders decided to sell off their shares like they were fleeing a haunted house. Classic.
Word on the street (the Financial Times’s street, not some shady alley in Moscow) is that Tether seeks to transform crypto pixie-dust into gold bars. This is not alchemy, they swear-just the logical next step after digital speculation. Inside Tether’s secret lair, gold glitters as “natural bitcoin,” because apparently, a nugget under your mattress is now as hip as encrypted 1s and 0s.