Cloudflare’s AI Rollcall: 1100 Jobs Gone, Stocks Fall, and the Hitchhiker’s Guide to Corporate Chaos!

In a world where servers hum and the ether tenses, Cloudflare fell so hard in after‑hours trading that even the most skeptical penguins in the market’s corner noticed. Apparently, the beloved firewall chestnut had decided that AI would replace a sizeable portion of its human workforce, leaving Wall Street either bewildered or simply unimpressed.

Sorry, shareholders: you’ll have to abandon your spreadsheet religions now.

“Job‑lessness.”

Despite the unavoidable backlash, Cloudflare remains optimistic. The company reasserts its 2026 revenue outlook-roughly $2.805 - $2.813 billion-with an earnings per share projection of $1.19 - $1.20. The message: “Keep calm and press on-AI will do the tedious bits while we innovate further hilariously.”

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2026-05-08 14:18