In a plot twist worthy of a Bollywood blockbuster, Indian crypto exchange Wazirx has officially filed its sanctioned Scheme of Arrangement with the Accounting and Corporate Regulatory Authority (ACRA) in Singapore. That’s right, the paperwork is done, the i’s are dotted, and the t’s are crossed. Or at least, let’s hope they are. 🙏
The indictment against Mr. Zhi, unsealed in Brooklyn – naturally – reveals a positively fiendishly complex international fraud. Thousands of victims, sophisticated scams, shell companies… it’s like a particularly irritating episode of a detective show, only with more cryptocurrency and significantly less charming investigators. They laundered billions, you see. Billions. One wonders what they were planning to *do* with all that money. Fund a particularly ambitious collection of garden gnomes, perhaps?
The Ethereum Foundation (EF), ever the financial romancer, has made a grand onchain gesture, depositing 2,400 ETH and approximately $6 million in stablecoins into Morpho’s yield-bearing vaults. According to their X post, this move underscores EF’s ongoing commitment to advancing open-source and permissionless financial infrastructure within the Ethereum ecosystem-because who needs privacy when you can have transparency? 🤷♂️
The centerpiece of this union is OKX’s collateral mirroring programme, a fancy term for letting institutions park their assets in the vaults of a Global Systemically Important Bank (G-SIB) while they frolic in the digital asset markets. It’s like having your cake and eating it too, though one wonders if the cake is made of blockchain or just frosted with regulatory compliance. 🍰
According to a press release that could’ve been written by a robot (judging by the enthusiasm), they’re focusing on peaq’s “Machine Economy Free Zone” – a fancy sandbox where robots can test their ability to not, like, malfunction or murder humans. Bonus points for compliance!
According to the royal “insider,” Sam’s political views have been all over the map. In 2020, he was all about being center-left, but by 2022, Gensler’s crypto crackdown and the Biden DOJ made him switch sides faster than you change TV channels during commercials. Spoiler alert: he secretly started donating millions to the other guys – the Republicans. Shocking, I know.
He says, “In 2020, I was center-left. By 2022-having seen Gensler/Biden’s crypto raid-I was a centrist, and I secretly sent tens of millions to Republicans.” Just casually handing out millions like it’s Monopoly money. CBS reports he dropped a cool $40 million in 2022, with most of it supporting Democrats, because, why not keep everyone guessing? 😂
Gold’s rally reflects safe-haven demand amid geopolitical tensions, while Bitcoin’s correction stemmed from $9 billion in leveraged liquidations – not fundamental weakness.
They say Habib and his son are accused of conjuring a scheme so slick it would make Houdini jealous-promising sky-high returns on Bitcoin and Binance tokens, as if money grows on hair follicles or some magic crypto shampoo.
Despite fancy rules like MiCA and MAS, only a handful of countries seem to have their ducks in a row. Most are just trying to herd cats, which, let me tell you, is about as easy as herding wildcats with a broken whip.
“We’re going to continue to play offense,” Garlinghouse declared, probably with a grin and a wink. Ripple’s ambitions aren’t just about payments anymore. Oh no, now it’s about custody, stablecoins, and apparently collecting companies like Pokémon cards. They recently shelled out $1.25 billion for prime broker Hidden Road and dropped $200 million on enterprise stablecoin provider Rail. And, trust me, they’re not done yet. “More announcements coming soon,” Garlinghouse teased. Of course, he’s confident it’s time to invest. Because, why not?
